keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
