I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
