i permit you to call me
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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