I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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