The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
