Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
