Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
