Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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