I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
There r osticjed everywhere
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
try to milk me bitch
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
