Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
