What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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