I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
