So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
