i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.