I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
