Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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