We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
