Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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