I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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