Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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