At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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