I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
