I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time