I will die if light touches me.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.