My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.