wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
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found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
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Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."