so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
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It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
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As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...