How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
