Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
