a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
