one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
