Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
