All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
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The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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