Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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