you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
