Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
