Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
