Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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