Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
