I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
is it fun? or sober?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
