My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
