can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
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We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
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He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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