im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize