I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
