He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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