The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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