i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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