that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
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she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
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She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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