He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
