Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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