Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
