There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
ttyl tear gas
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
