took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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