You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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