dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
