I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
