So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He kissed a someone with a penis
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
