Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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