is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
