you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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