Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize